


FANFICTALE

by Ari_Ari_Ari



Series: Ari's book of stories [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: AAAAAAAAAAA, Badly, Crack, DON’T TRUST THE NICE CREAM, Frisky sue tries to hit on everyone, GET READY FOR TEEN ANGST, Help, ME - Freeform, Mary sue Frisk, Multi, Nacarat jester is there too, So is the nice cream guy, Spicy™ Content ahead, Tags Are Hard, Why Did I Write This?, get ready for mary sues, in which a self insert reader that's secretly frisk travels the underground, it fails., so much crack, welcome to hell now, you're blue now too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 19:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9562730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ari_Ari_Ari/pseuds/Ari_Ari_Ari
Summary: Welcome to a parody of all undertale fanfictions....or at least the carbon copies.STARRING!Frisky sueSans the overrated skeletonand all those other characters nobody seems to care about...TROPES TROPES TROPES!Clichés everywhere....Au mentioning!Pain.jpeg





	1. RIP! The meeting of Frisky sue!

Welcome dear readers....why are you here again? Oh wait...because GUESS WHAT? Like every fan fiction ever, you are the special snowflake of this world created by the magical Toby Fox!

Like every special snowflake, you are secretly edgy because your dad beats you every day or some shit like that...honestly...how overused can the abuser parents trope be trampled on by fangirls who want the skele-dong? Not to mention this can honestly be offensive to **REAL** people who have been abused. Shame on you.

Anyways, since your running from your abusive parents like sonic who just smelled a chili dog from a mile away on a Tuesday night....you end up falling in some hole in a mountain or whatever. It makes you think... If 6 other kids fell down, wouldn't other people; probably the police noticed at this point and put a gate or some shit there to make sure no ore people fall? This is why people are stupid.

You wake up, only to realize you snapped your neck from the fall. But you survive a-ok due to the power of DETERMINATION (since all other souls apparently don't exist or is treated like they are trash tier.)

Now get ready! You about to have the most dissappointing trip of your life, to free all monsters, or shank them to death...

**FANFICTALE: electric boogaloo**

Press start...?


	2. FLOWEY the fucboi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you meet the one and only, Flower the flowey. Goat mom is there too.

Seeing as how you were perfectly fine from a good 15 feet fall into a patch of flowers, you decide to look around the caves. Because all cave systems, rickety or not, are _perfectly_ fine to stroll around in.

You end up finding a room with a patch of grass an a lone flower....with a face?

Enter Flowey Fuckboi; the flower who stole the souls (and ovaries) of various fangirls.

Seeing as how your one of this fangirls to an extent...you squeal at the sight of flowey. Oh boy...it begins. Flowey, who is questioning your sanity...decides to just keep going on with the "Friendliness pellets" speech. He shows you your soul, the culmination of your being. Then comes the good part. Flowey sends out his pellets to you. You being the sick person you are, seductively run into the pellets. Flowey, about to tell you how stupid you are, stopped because he's trying to figure out how and why you are a sick fuck. Wanting to do the horizontal tango with a _flower_? How sad. (Insert author shaming)

Flowey, not having time to try and kill you, gets hadoukened the hell outta there by the one and only...Goat milf.

**WE WILL CONTINE, NEXT, ON FANFICTALE Z**


	3. Goat Mama and the ruins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you explore the ruins

After Fucboi was blasted away Team Rocket style, you stare at a Goat...milf...monster...person?

Enter Toriel the Goat mama, who you either spend 2 or less chapters on, or you're there for 10 chapters plus in a slow burn fanfic. The goat lady seems to be nice, so you decide to follow her into the cave. Remember children, **always** follow strange Goat monsters into caves. They'll give you pie ᕕ( º ͜ʖ º )ᕗ

after messing around the ruins, which includes sneaking up on Froggits and kicking them before running. Wow, you must be quite the A-hole. Anyways, before getting past the amazing spike puzzle, you end up getting into a fight with a Froggit. Seeing as how Froggit isn't Sansy-pie or any of the main characters, they are not important and therefore, won't get a tag on this work. Thanks Undertale fandom! You end up Kicking the Froggit down, constantly stomping on it until is croaks (cries?) for mercy.

You being the bipolar, two-sided knife of edginess, stomp the Froggit to death.

Toriel being the oblivious goat mama, continues leading you through the ruins. Remember, Froggits or Any monster encounters, they don't have feelings or souls according to the fandom!

After brutally murdering a few monsters, you and Toriel walk into her house.

you end up meeting someone there...


	4. Goat mama's Crib

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goat mama gives you pie and you get a "Greeting"

Goat mom, while holding you, hulk smashes through the wall and into her Crib. It's a small house with some stairs to a basement.

You being the impulsive child you are, run around the house. Eventually, getting bored, after 2 hours of literally running in circles, you pass out. It gives Toriel the opportunity to put you in your new room.

Waking up from your pass-out, you find yourself in a void, because voids are cool. You realize however, that you aren't alone...

_"Greetings. I am Chara."_

Enter Charamander, your best friend/scrapegoat. Charamander will happily help you on your way through the underground, but if you do the genocidal tango of death, _just blame it on Charamander! After all, they don't have feelings! They are just a megalomaniac child who only thinks of stabbing things!_ Because of this, **anything** you do that's bad in later chapters, will be Charamander's fault _**for just existing.**_

After flirting with essentially death, you wake up and find a pie on the floor. _Mmm, floor pie..._ You decide to dig in only to find that the pie is filled with _the rotted corpse meat of a child who fell before you._ You pull out strands of old hairs and a red, faded ribbon from the pie.

**Well.** Toriel baked a _rotted. child. body._ She must be really messed up or lonely. Probably both. You being the edgy fuck you are, sprinkle monster dust onto the pie, and save it for later in your inventory.

Eventually, 2 days passed, and walking around the Ruins started to get boring. Even _terrorizing_ the monsters here started to get boring. There was only one place you haven't seen yet...so it's time to take a trip to **Toriel's basement.**


	5. The basement of Heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you break Toriel's heart...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing the CHOICES!

It's now the evening of your third day underground, and Toriel, once again, is sitting in her chair, reading. "The book is a classic!" she says, but a book called "Cooking Snails for Dummies; _get that tasty snail pie in under 30 minutes!_

You, getting tired of terrorizing the Whimsums and doing _absolutely_ nothing, you finally decide to leave Toriel's shack. While Toriel is reading, you carefully sneak down the basement stairs. Chara tries to tell you otherwise, but you really could not give a fuck, because of **DETERMINATION**. 

Surprise, surprise! there was a locked door. Before you could try to open the door, you heard what can only be described as pre-pubescent goat screeching. _Toriel._ You were sick and tired of Toriel, so you do the most sensible thing...

[Spare Toriel](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9562730/chapters/21631337)

[Kill Toriel](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9562730/chapters/21632447)


	6. Choices : Spare Toriel

_You do the right thing._

You battle Toriel. You dodge most of her attacks, sparing her every chance you could get. Soon, Toriel stopped stops attacking you. She looks pretty sad...well, very sad. You decide to not be so edgy and give her a hug. Soon the door is open, and you walk out of the Ruins.

At the end of the hallway that went on forever for some reason...Oh no... It's Flower the Flowey again. He starts taunting you, and you being the living definition of Teen angst™, you start to cry and whine at Flowey. Satisfied with your crying, Flower leaves. What a sick fuck. You, still crying, finally leave the ruins.


	7. Choices: Kill Toriel

_You don't care._

You lift up your hand...and you managed to thrust your hand and arm into Toriel, implaleing her. You manage to rip out Toriel's soul, and keep it in your inventory. Toriel's soul doesn't dream (for some reason) because of **DETERMINATION**. Satisfied, you walk to Toriel's dust, and pick up a handful of her dust. You put the dust into one of your pockets, and continue to move on, past the door.

Eventually, at the end of the long, damn, hallway, there was a patch of grass. In that grass, of course, Flowey the fucboi. He starts to taunt you about killing Toriel, but five words in and you stomp on his head. Feels good. Flowey screeches before fucking off. Finally, you walk through the door.


	8. The meeting of Sans-pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear lord...

You **hate** Snow. It is cold, and you hated the cold, despite being a "Cold blooded" person to others. You start to feel angsty because of the snow, and you whip out your trusty razor! You start to violently cut yourself, because remember, you **are** the **EDGE**. (Remember kids, vertical for progress, horizontal for attention!). After randomly cutting yourself, you continue to walk on, feeling...watched...

Continuing to walk, you start to feel less and less comfortable....Then it hits you. _OH NO!_ It's those telemarketers you pranked, and now their after your ass!

You start to run, fearing for your life (and butt). Stopping to catch your breath, you freeze when you hear a voice behind you...

**" h u m a n. t u r n a r o u n d a n d s h a k e m y h a n d . "**

#  **HOLY SHIT. IT'S SANS-PIE.**

You eagerly turn around ; Sans is holding out his hand...

[Take his hand](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9562730/chapters/21752333)

 

[Squee!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9562730/chapters/21752792)


	9. Choices 2: take his hand

You happily take Sans's hand... Unfortunately, the instant you touch his bone hand, your heart fails and your ovaries instantly burst.

# GAME OVER.

Death by Sans-pie

Back to sansy 


	10. Choices 2: Squee!

You squee like a preteen girl talking about her first kiss. Sans gives you a weird look, before quickly returning to his usual grin.

"huh, you must really like me. i'm sans. sans the skeleton."

you nod eagerly, as he tells you about his brother, and how he fucked up with some bars at a bridge. After walking through the "bars" on the bridge. Then you hear a voice from somewhere... Sans suddenly "urges" you to hide behind some lamp. Quick question...how can someone hide behind a lamp? I mean, you are a 21 year old so that you can get into the bone zone without child protective services on your ass. The lamp, while big...is still about the size of a child.

It wasn't until you heard a "NYEH HEH HEH!" when you ran and "hid" behind the lamp...

continue on to next chapter


	11. Papaya the Kool dude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These comments lol
> 
> To the people who saw a comment made by "me" that said "lick me", that was my friends messing around on my phone +_+

Dear readers, this is where we enter the very cool and radical dude known as Papaya-er, Papyrus.

For some apparent reason, the fandom made this super cool dude into a whiny little bitch who cries for his brother every two seconds like a complete man-child....skeleton....alie- Anyways, he randomly appears, whining about how sans is a lazy fuck and how he needs to "RECALIBRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"

Sans as usual, decides to drop some overrated and overused pun bombs on Papyrus. Papyrus then screeches like a banshee. It was so damn loud a Pyrope in Hotland could hear the "NHEHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA"

Papyrus continues his spew about how he must capture a human ((easily the second most overrated speech in Undertale)) so that Undyne-Senpai could notice him and let him into the Royal guard.

You, are two sided about Papyrus. You want to behead him because he's so annoying, but at the same time, you want to protect this precious cinnamon bun who just gave you type two diabetes from any harm possible.

Eventually, Papyrus runs off and Sans gives you a signal so you could come out from behind the lamp; aka, tipping the lamp over and breaking it with a bone. He randomly douse this to show his **_AMAZIN SKELE-POWERS BECAS BAD TIM EVERYWHEREEEEEE!!!!!!!_** After his **AMAZIN BED TOM POWR** , Sans tells you how you should "play along with getting captured."

You end up agreeing with sans. Papaya might be annoying, but he is a cinnamon bun damn it.


	12. Generic snow forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Insert dead memes here.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still alive??? People are reading this??? Probably not. Well, hopefully not.

_**Now now, edgee. Don’t stab that snowdra- oh. Well...nevermind.** _

If you remember this abomination, congrats! You have no life. Speaking of which, just about everyone that isn’t Sams or Paper in generic snow forest, is...kinda very dead.

_**Gee**_ , I wonder who brutally murdered those monsters... **HMM.**

”AH YES (Y/N), DO MY FUCKING PUZZLE YOU SHIT. THIS IS WHAT “DATES” SAY TO EACHOTHER RIGHT? OF COURSE, FOR I AM THE GREAT PAPRIKA!”

Like that, you remember why you nearly stabbed this dude. Sams as usual, was just giving you the _“kill my brother and i’ll castrate you with a rusty butter knife”_ look, so you put away your knife.

you look at the puzzle; it’s a dirty piece of paper with the word “Spaghetti” on it. As you lift up to tell the brothers what the _hell_ this was, snins bet tim tazes you, causing you to drop like a rock.

****Oofmania dead meme timeskip****

So, being tazed _conveniently_ for totally™ not plot speeding up purposely, you wake up on the other side of a bridge, ahead of you; a small little town by the name of ”Overrated designated Snow town.

You, being the _special snowflake™_ Figure you can of course, try to find a quick boy toy before brutally murdering everyone after making them feel sorry for you.

**To be ~~hopefully not~~ continued...**


	13. “Nacarat”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frisky Sue unfortunately finds a new toy. (Happy late new year. Kudos to those who still read this crap.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stop lewding Nacarat Jester you fucks

_Nacarat Jester is just a simple, middle-aged monster living in Snowdin Town._

He lives along with Citrus, a scarf wearing mouse-like monster, who he has taken care of, and is about to go off to collage. ~~After all, we have to get this little fucker out of the house while we bang their caretaker to oblivion and back.~~

 _Now_ , as I speak, Nacarat is quietly sitting near Grillby’s. Resting for a bit before going back to his house to continue making a new scarf for Citrus.

 ** _Alas_** , here you come. You walk out of Grillby’s covered in ketchup and with a restraining order. Looks like Grillby won’t be your toy.

**Ya filthy animals. Stop lewding everyone that moves in this game.**

Out of the corner of your eye, you spot this _**hot and juicy™**_ devil looking monster. He seems to be in a world of his own, watching the snowflakes fall. **_Perfect._**

You hop on to this hot bod like a loaded spring, causing the monster to grunt and fall back in surprise. Not only was this strange human on top of him, but they were in a compromising position.

##  **OH TO HELL WITH IT. ENOUGH OF THIS DRAGGING ON. WE GOTTA SPEED IT UP SO WE CAN GET TO THE SAMS UNTERTAL SMUT**

[Lewd the Jester](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9562730/chapters/30316893)

 

[Save it for sins skeledong](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9562730/chapters/30317157)


	14. Choices 3: Lewding Nacarat (Help me.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I truely regret making this now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asdfghjklhhhhhhh

**_You decide to lewd Nacarat Jester. I hope you rethink your life after reading this._ **

You purr as you drag your new boy toy by the horns, back to his own house. With your **SNAS POWAS™** you break open the door.

”W-WHAT? W-who are you! What are you doing with Nacarat!” It was an annoying mouse monster. Tossing Nacarat to the side, you pull out your shanky shank safety combat knife and hop onto the gremlin. Nacarat, dazed from having his head slammed against a dresser, started to scream as he watched a mad woman violently tear into the child he promised to take care of.

Eh. One less annoyance to you, as you get up. You watched the monster below you bleed out before dusting at your feet. Though you quickly turn back as your boy toy was currently trying to run away. You quickly grab Nacarat using blue magic you just happen to conveniently have.

You happily close the house door and slide Nacarat to the room you presumed to be his, as he yells for help. You close and lock the bedroom door, before hopping in the bed with Nacarat.

**Two days. No breaks. No bathroom. No food. Just 48 hours on the bed, _doing it._**

_After the two days, you casually leave Nacarat Jester, sore and mourning. You sick fuck._

[Go back. I’m kinkshaming you.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9562730/chapters/30315933)


	15. Choices 3: Save it for sins skeledong.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank goodness you chose this choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The “good ending” out of the third set of choices.

**_You didn’t lewd Nacarat Jester. ~~thank goodness.~~_ **

#### Even though the hot devil monster could be your boy toy. You decide not to lewd. I mean, he ISN’T SANS. SANS IS LOVE SANS IS LIFE. SANS IS ALL YOU NEED TO LIVE. SANS IS YOUR NEW GOD. PRASE HIM LOVE HIM BEG FOR HIM.

**_With those words in your head, you move on, to get your one and only Sansy pie._ **

**///Continue on///**


End file.
